I’ve been meaning to do a post, but that’s hard when you don’t know what to say. Or, rather, when it feels too weird to say it.
My cat Boots dreams of being a great lion. That’s how he sees himself. He’s not really a lion, but that’s okay.
For 15+ years I saw myself, in great part, as crystalsandjewelry.com. I’m not that website, but that’s okay. Actually, since I’ve sold it, that’s a very good thing. I’d like to keep myself, thanks.
The problem is that where the daily concerns of that particular business were, there’s now a series of gaping holes. I know I’ll adjust. I always do. I’m not always a fan of the adjustment period. Seldom, actually.
I’ll play with my art, and maybe even my art site. I may even tinker with AllTheChakras.com when I can’t stand not to. (I must be a website addict.) And I’ll try to relax for a couple of weeks. After that a couple of irons will go in the fire, and we’ll see what comes of it. For now, let me work at relaxing. Maybe I’ll play with some rocks first.
It feels like the icons of my youth are falling at my feet like brown and crinkly leaves. We lost Leonard Nimoy in 2015. He died of COPD complications, a disease I have, which made it as frightening as it is sad to contemplate a galaxy without Spock Prime pointing out when we are being too emotional. He was an icon from my childhood: I knew him from Star Trek from age five.
We lost Carrie Fisher aka Princess Leia in 2016, another great icon of my childhood, and science fiction. She was only 60. It startles me that I can say “only 60” almost as much as her death surprised me.
We lost George Michael in 2016 as well. I danced with him through the 80s and 90s. My mind is still dancing to his songs. He was the same age I am. He should not be gone so soon.
There are others, but it is too raw to list them all. Losing the icons of my youth must be a sign I did not die young, after all.
Gree was my special girl. She was the light black sisfur of the House of the Mostly Black Cats. She was Mrs. Othello, Greebie, @GreetheCat. She was the kitty who slept with me at night. She had a chirp she made when she was excited about something and could purr loud as can be. She wouldn’t take anything off anybody. She liked Temptations and Party Mix but was not a huge fan of Greenies. She adored yogurt. When she and Pepi still lived outside and were technically the neighbors cats, she came running when she heard me or my mother. She helped Pepi hunt. She loved scritches on the right side of her neck; the left side made her licky licky like she was grooming. She had beautiful black eyeliner. Her nose was pink and grey to go with her pink and grey pawpads. She had little petite ears but a buddah belly that never kept her from keeping her white stockings clean.
She hurt her back years ago, we don’t know how. So she had pain meds that I gave her on and off, and when she was so sick near the end I had to give her prednisolone. She only bit me once in all those years and that was when I had my thumb stuck between her teeth. I’m not sure you could consider that a real bite. Gree was terrified of thunder and the vacuum cleaner and fled to the safety of under the bed, though she wasn’t as bad about them as the years went on. Gree was scared of things; I tried to help her feel safe, and I like to think I succeeded in some measure.
Gree liked “canned food soup” better than just the canned cat food. She would let me massage her rear paws, but I could only brush my fingers over her front paws. She kept me company in my office / studio. She sat in my lap. When she started feeling sick, she slept snuggled close to me in bed. Gree was my sweetheart. I miss her.
Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Aside from crying and braying like a dying donkey, I make art. It helps bring me out of myself and is a balm for frayed nerves and sadness. In my attempt to deal with my grief over Gree’s passing, I found a new idea for my healing silhouette art: cats and trees. Maybe cats without trees later. We shall see.
Thank you, Gree. For the cats and trees. And mostly for all the years of company.
Added 4/26/16 from Facebook: Clarisse Harton Her Grandma misses her too! She was always afraid of the vacuum cleaner. When I went to vacuum Saturday, I stopped and decided not to in remembrance of Miss Greebie.